I journaled about FEAR and SUFFERING:
One of the biggest takeaways from this weekend was this... I AM NOT into playing small in any part of my life or in my business.
Before I started my business, I felt paralyzing FEAR of many things.
- What if we can't pay our mortgage?
- What if my husband gets sick?
- What if I die, what will happen to the kids future, will they remember me?
- What if I get so tired from not sleeping, I forget a child in the car, or have a car accident?
- What if my depression never ends, and this sadness I carry that no one sees is forever?
- What if I never get to feel free again?
- What if I get pregnant with a 3rd, will we be able to afford it?
- What if I never see a white sand beach again, and all I ever see is the armpit of this awful mountain?
- What if the car breaks down?
- What if I never have time to see my friends, and lose touch with them?
- What if my parents get sick and I need to take care of one or ALL of them?
- What if I am never respected again in any career I choose to do?
- What if I never feel valued again?
- What if I go back to work, will my kids know me?
- What if ... this is it? :-(
Now, 14 years later. My life and outlook is in a whole new place. Personal growth has brought me to a place of gratitude. Fourteen years ago, right when I was at my very lowest...I was offered the gift of possibility, a way to focus my mind, an opportunity for personal growth, all attached to a business that I could HYPER focus on, all from the convenience of home and around MY priorities.
- We built our dream home and don't stress about the mortgage.
- We have life insurance and a family plan.
- We've managed to keep the kids healthy and mostly happy to 15 and 17... and counting.
- Found ways to manage my depression with meditation, a self-care plan, my tribe and consistent personal growth.
- I plan multi-week summer freedom road trips to soul singing places with the kids.
- Two kids were perfect for us, plans were put in place to keep at 2!
- Travel is something we schedule in as a couple, as a family, plus I am gifted with lots of travel adventures thru my business..
- Friendships are always a high priority, coffee dates, travel adventures, any excuse for a visit!
- I've been able to spend so much time with all my parents, I'm grateful for daily morning coffee's.
- I am so respected in my career and am surrounded by the very best mentors and a dream team.
- I feel very valued in my community and am able to extensively volunteer at the kid's schools.
- I'm totally unemployable at this time... my kids not only know me as a mom, but as an entrepreneurial leader who creates a life for herself, and for her family by working smart.
- I know this... more than anything else... I've got more to grow thru and I'm JUST GETTING STARTED! :-)
I'm not in the convincing business! I'm in the helping those who are REALLY ready to never ever let FEAR steer their life decisions for them EVER AGAIN business.
If any of this resonates with you, direct message me.
Suffering is that attachment to anything that draws you away from your authentic self; the vibration, the frequency, and the sense of connection to the whole of the universe, and everything in it is disrupted- ~Wedlidi Speck